Lately

My heart is full, my life is full. This past year our little family has made huge strides in better directions. Were all of the steps we made positive? No, of course not, we are human after all. We mess up, we do stupid things. But all in all, our family is in a better place than we were a year ago. My husband and I just celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. 6 years? Really? Some days it seems like it cannot be possible that we have already been married for 6 years, and some days I think, "That's it? It's only been 6 years? Are you sure it hasn't been more like 26?" :)

I am so grateful. I am grateful for amazing family and friends that surround us. I am grateful for the wonderful husband God placed in my life...directly in my path...basically hit me over the head with him, saying "Here you go, this one." I am so grateful for the wonderful children we have been blessed with. I could not ask for more. 

Some days, my husband drives me crazy. Stupid socks in the middle of the floor. Stupid cupboard doors left open. Stupid shirts that I so painstakingly folded and put away no longer folded because he changed his mind and just shoved it back into the drawer.But I love him. He knows me better than anyone else and still loves me and accepts me for who I am.

Most days, my kids drive me batty. Chasing 4 little ones around in circles all day can do that to a person. (My 2 children and my niece and nephew of course) "Please don't pick up the baby." "No you cannot keep slamming yourself into the couch." "Why are you all wet?" "I cannot hear myself think because you two are screaming at each other so loudly!" "No the baby cannot play with your legos." On and on it goes. Every day I drive myself crazy saying things that don't make sense and doing things no normal, sane person would ever do (carrying my half-naked child across a parking lot while she holds her own naked crazy-haired barbie because I had no more spare clothes with me). But I love them. With all of my being I love them. They are part of me; they came from me. I have had the "opportunity" on two separate occasions to hand my children off to Doctors and watch them walk through the doors away from me. Completely in their hands. I have never felt more powerless. The most recent occasion being Ella's eye surgery. It was a normal, routine surgery but that didn't matter. My child was in someone else's hands. Not mine. At the moment, I  couldn't keep her safe. I couldn't even be with her to hold her. As a mom, there is just that horrible feeling of helplessness. This occasion was trivial, because luckily my children are healthy, but it was still a moment where I was reminded of how blessed I am and how much I love my children.

As Summer unfolds, we continue to look at new opportunities. A new house. A new job. Summer Camp. Field trips. MORE TIME. I LOVE having this time with my kids. I will always remember this past year. It has been treasured. I am also looking forward to the days to come. They will become busier, yes, but I am so excited for them. I love this life.