When You Shouldn't Sugarcoat Things

I had the fortunate/unfortunate (I can't yet decide) opportunity today to witness an event when I was picking John up from Summer Camp. The timing of all of the still kind of boggles my mind...

As Ella and I were getting out of the car and pulling some totes of books out of the trunk (I am slowly moving stuff into my future classroom as it is not in use this summer) I noticed the Summer Camp group walking back from the park across the street. As they began to cross the street, a rather unsavory character happened to cross paths between the school and the group. To say he was not in control of his emotions would be an understatement. Clearly upset he was screaming at someone many profanities over and over again very loudly. He was so out of control he even punched the street sign and threw the bag he was carrying.

Now, obviously, this is not the very worst thing to come across. I don't think anyone really was in any danger except the character who could have seriously hurt his hand. We live in a big city now and coming across different walks of life is pretty normal. But we are from a very sheltered background. My kids have purposefully never been exposed to situations like this. I carefully monitor what they watch and who we spend time with (we have been blessed with so many wonderful people in our lives that this really has never been much of a concern).

As I sat and watched this (with Ella pretty unconscious of what was going on) next to the safety of my car, I watched the group of Summer Camp kids and the leaders/teachers who were with the kids. As the kids were beginning to cross the street, the teachers turned them back around and led the group back into the park area. The leaders were aware of the situation and handled it wonderfully. They couldn't stop what was happening or stop the kids from seeing what was happening, but I could tell their attention was on the kids and their safety 100%. They kept their focus on the children and I am sure did their best to distract them from the scene the character was making. At that moment I was proud of the fact that I will soon be joining the staff their. I could not have handled the situation any better.

I made my way inside after the "situation" left the area and went about my business. It was very apparent that the scene was heard from inside as well. It was that loud. As I made my way back outside to get more totes of books, the Summer Camp group was walking up to the school. I watched them pass by but my son caught my attention immediately. He was walking with the staff members in back, crying. He was clearly upset and they let me know as soon as I saw them of the situation I had just witnessed and that he had been pretty upset by it. I appreciated that they let me know right away what had happened.

This whole thing, plus the fact that John will be spending the summer with people other than me, plus stuff going around social media recently have made me wonder and question if I have properly prepared my children for the world we live in. Do they know not to wander off? Do they have a healthy enough sense of stranger danger to be aware yet not paranoid of everyone around them? Do they know not to go off with strangers even when they entice them with things? I know as parents it is our job to prepare our children for the world. Not everything and everyone is nice. Not every situation is pretty.

I have been debating on when to have that certain talk and that time came up today. The incident stuck with John and he was clearly bothered by it. I knew I needed to say something to him, and we had a talk in the car on the way home. I know I need to talk to him further about this. He is getting older and more aware of his surroundings. This is not the easy part of parenting. If I could stick my kids in a bubble and attach them to me so they would always be safe and close I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can't. I can't always keep them safe. But I can do my best to prepare them for what they will be guaranteed to face as they grow up.

You can't sugarcoat safety or common sense. I know I can still pick and choose what I tell them and what they know, but I also believe in honesty. They need to know that not everyone out there is good or can be trusted. I need them to know who to trust and who not to trust. I need them to know who they can go to when they need to be safe.I hope and pray that I do my job well and that my kids grow up safely but aware.

Lately

My heart is full, my life is full. This past year our little family has made huge strides in better directions. Were all of the steps we made positive? No, of course not, we are human after all. We mess up, we do stupid things. But all in all, our family is in a better place than we were a year ago. My husband and I just celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. 6 years? Really? Some days it seems like it cannot be possible that we have already been married for 6 years, and some days I think, "That's it? It's only been 6 years? Are you sure it hasn't been more like 26?" :)

I am so grateful. I am grateful for amazing family and friends that surround us. I am grateful for the wonderful husband God placed in my life...directly in my path...basically hit me over the head with him, saying "Here you go, this one." I am so grateful for the wonderful children we have been blessed with. I could not ask for more. 

Some days, my husband drives me crazy. Stupid socks in the middle of the floor. Stupid cupboard doors left open. Stupid shirts that I so painstakingly folded and put away no longer folded because he changed his mind and just shoved it back into the drawer.But I love him. He knows me better than anyone else and still loves me and accepts me for who I am.

Most days, my kids drive me batty. Chasing 4 little ones around in circles all day can do that to a person. (My 2 children and my niece and nephew of course) "Please don't pick up the baby." "No you cannot keep slamming yourself into the couch." "Why are you all wet?" "I cannot hear myself think because you two are screaming at each other so loudly!" "No the baby cannot play with your legos." On and on it goes. Every day I drive myself crazy saying things that don't make sense and doing things no normal, sane person would ever do (carrying my half-naked child across a parking lot while she holds her own naked crazy-haired barbie because I had no more spare clothes with me). But I love them. With all of my being I love them. They are part of me; they came from me. I have had the "opportunity" on two separate occasions to hand my children off to Doctors and watch them walk through the doors away from me. Completely in their hands. I have never felt more powerless. The most recent occasion being Ella's eye surgery. It was a normal, routine surgery but that didn't matter. My child was in someone else's hands. Not mine. At the moment, I  couldn't keep her safe. I couldn't even be with her to hold her. As a mom, there is just that horrible feeling of helplessness. This occasion was trivial, because luckily my children are healthy, but it was still a moment where I was reminded of how blessed I am and how much I love my children.

As Summer unfolds, we continue to look at new opportunities. A new house. A new job. Summer Camp. Field trips. MORE TIME. I LOVE having this time with my kids. I will always remember this past year. It has been treasured. I am also looking forward to the days to come. They will become busier, yes, but I am so excited for them. I love this life.

Life

Boy, life can be busy. And short. Life is really really short. It is really easy to forget to look around yourself and get caught up in things that really aren't that important. Money. Ugh, I hate money. I hate the need for it and I hate the differences of money between people. I don't know why it bothers me but it SO does. I'm not a communist. But sometimes it just bugs me how some people can make such ridiculous amounts of money, live in big houses, drive nice cars, and simply have nice things when we struggle. Sometimes, we really struggle. Life has not been easy to us and it has not always been kind. We work HARD, we try HARD! It just gets me how life is not fair at times. Sometimes it doesn't make sense.

But, does it matter? Really? Does it matter where different people live? Does it matter how much or how little money people have? In the end, are people going to care what we have? No, I don't think so. It matters WHO we are. It matters who we are to others. We are here for a purpose. Our job is to live out that purpose. It doesn't matter what kind of house we live out this purpose in, or what kind of clothes we live in. My only hope, my only prayer is that on the day I meet my Maker, I can fall at His feet and He will look at me and say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

I look around during these times where I am seeing clearly (lol) and I see just all I have. I have a beautiful family. I have a wonderful husband and partner. I have been blessed with two wonderful children. I am living my dream. It may not always look like what I pictured, but really, when does our life go the way we planned? I have an amazing "extended" family that I am so very thankful for every day. They have been such a strong support system, there for us no matter what.

I know I have a purpose, but I also believe my purpose changes and grows as time goes on, as life happens. When we are serving God, when we are living His love, we are doing His purpose. Right now, my purpose is to bring up my children in a world where they know Him and His love. If I can raise my children to know God and have a meaningful relationship with Him, then it was all worth it. That will always be my first and most important purpose in this life.

Soon, I will be expanding my duties and responsibilities and calling. Teaching is a passion of mine that I never thought I would have. When I entered college, I swore I would NEVER become a teacher, but halfway through my freshman year I found myself exactly where I belonged. (Not without much angst and searching of course.)

I have noticed through this blog that it is hard for me to stay on the topic I was planning on and can be a bit rambling and random. I have decided to stop trying! I want for this to be a source for me to remember everything about my wonderful life that I get to live. When I go back to work full time, I want to continue this, because it is not just about being a stay at home mom. It is about being a mom, it is about living a dream, it is about making life meaningful.

My life means something to me, it is important. It can also slip by you so quickly that you want to look back at where you have been. This will help.

Vacation Is

Vacation is...

-spending much needed quality family time
-escaping the normal day to day of life
-going new places, seeing new things

Vacation is...

-eating Oreos and snack packs because you can
-having movie nights two days in a row
-going swimming as much as humanly possible

Vacation is...

-train rides
-cowboys and "bad guys"
-silliness

Vacation is...
-love
-family
-important

It doesn't matter how far you go, or how long you go for. Vacations are a time to get away from normalcy and be with family. Both are important. Family will always be there, and you should take the time to be with them and know them. Life is stressful. We can't just keep at it all the time. We have to escape from time to time to recharge and actually enjoy the life we are living a little ;).

Gentleness

Last week I read a wonderful article on what God wants for moms of young children. It was a wonderful article, and such a good reminder.

Here is the link:
http://www.thebettermom.com/blog/2015/2/22/what-god-wants-for-mom-with-young-children

Please read the article, you won't regret it.

The bottom line is this: Gentleness

We are to be gentle. When all else fails, remember to be gentle.

This is my reminder to continue to "Grow in Grace".

Grace. Gentleness.

Potty Training

Oh. My. Word.

Potty Training.....

I never thought I would dread potty training as much as I do right now, and I have potty trained before!

I have tried just about every trick I have ever heard of with this girl to no avail. People say girls are easier to potty train than boys are. That's a big fat NOPE! John was a breeze, AND there was a new baby in the house. I would potty train him over and over and over again. He was completely potty trained when he was barely two. Ella is past barely two. She will be honing in on 2 1/2 soon and I have decided it will be easier to train her how to clean her own diapers than it will be to potty train. She has no interest in it, treats and bribery mean nothing to her. If she doesn't want to do it, she isn't going to do it. Of course, she is like that with everything, so I don't know why I thought this would be any different.

I am sure of a few things: all children are different, siblings are still different. girls are NOT easier to potty train than boys, and every single able-bodied person should be able to use a toilet!!!!!

I am also completely unsure of a few things as well: how to get my child to properly use a toilet, am I even going about this the right way, and why does this have to be so hard?!?!?!

I have been rather quiet on the blogging front for a little while now, mainly because we have been so busy living life. In January, I began watching my precious niece and nephew (twins, 6 weeks old, now 4 months old) 3 days a week. 4 kids is so busy!!!! But I have had so much fun being with my two and the twins. It has been more than I could have ever hoped for and busier than I ever thought it would be. And though I am still working on finding ways to spend quality time with each individual child every day while maintaining  my sanity, I am happy to say that all of them are still alive and well ;)

Through all this, potty training has reared its ugly head again and again. I will find a new tip and stick to it until it nearly drives me crazy. Nothing has worked, and believe me I have tried it all. I am sure one of these days something will stick or I will simply stumble upon her one day using the toilet all on her own. While we have made minor improvements in the potty training world (she no longer kicks and screams her way to the bathroom), I don't think she is any closer to being "trained".

There really is no way to end this post as the story has not yet ended. So I suppose I will end with a request: please send some good potty training thoughts our way, This child may well be the death of me....sigh

Homemaking Fail

I experienced a rather dramatic homemaking fail today....it was very sad for me.

I am a beginning seamstress. I have always enjoyed it and tackled a number of projects and had fairly good success. Not today though, not today.

I recently had the brilliant idea to make myself a maxi skirt. I am too tall for the ones in the stores and I figured it would be easy enough to make one. I found a simple tutorial on pinterest, and purchased so super cute fabric from JoAnn's. The fabric was purple and black with sparkles and a little bit of zebra print. I loved it. It was perfect.

I followed the instructions exactly, measured myself correctly (I think), and wrote everything down. I sewed the proper sides together and bustled happily on my way. The skirt was taking shape! I got it all done in less than an hour.

I decided to try on the skirt before I hemmed it so I could make sure to get the length right. Here is where things went wrong...

The blasted skirt didn't fit! I couldn't get it up much past my knees! I had had a dreaded suspicion that it might be small as I was inspecting it, but I never thought it would be THAT small. Good grief.

I am positive I messed up somehow. Maybe I measured wrong. Maybe I cut it the wrong way. Maybe the stretch was supposed to go the other way. I dunno....I may never know.

I will not let this be my last sewing effort, but I am slightly discouraged. However, I choose to see this on the funny side. All that effort for such horrible outcomes. It is a little funny and I am sure a fly on the wall would have had a good laugh.

Maybe I will make the horrible skirt into a skirt for Ella. Maybe I will keep it as a reminder that sometimes, fails happen. Maybe I will someday be skinny enough to fit into it, but I doubt that. Today though, I just sigh a little and giggle to myself.

I don't even want to take a picture to remember it by...