2 Peter 3:18
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
2 Peter 3:18
"But Grow in the Grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. To Him be glory both now and forever! Amen."
2 Peter 3:18
2 Peter 3:18
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Teddy Bears and Memories
Yesterday was Teddy Bear Day at school as part of our National Lutheran Schools Week. Now, you would think that this day would be no big deal, even a little silly, and for the most part, it was. However, I managed to locate my one and only teddy bear I think I have ever had, and of course it brought along all sorts of emotions, reminiscings, and nostalgia. I have had this teddy bear nearly 30 years.......(gasp! I swear I don't feel that old!). This teddy bear was given to me by my dear godfather and uncle on my very first Christmas when I was only a few months old. Of course I didn't know them and neither did he how special this little bear would become. That same uncle passed away much too soon and that little bear has always been my strongest tie to him. I still have memories of running to greet him whenever we got the chance to visit, bouncing on his knee being silly, and candy leis that he would bring with him were always favorite gifts.
My own son has his name, the first boy born into our family since his passing, and it will always mean so much to me for my boy to carry this wonderful man's name. From all the stories I have heard about his childhood I imagine my John is a little like him as well.
This little teddy bear sat on my desk all day yesterday and I would look at it and think of him. On my mind all day. I know I will see him again someday, but for now I still miss him. I will just have to squeeze my bear a little tighter for now.
My own son has his name, the first boy born into our family since his passing, and it will always mean so much to me for my boy to carry this wonderful man's name. From all the stories I have heard about his childhood I imagine my John is a little like him as well.
This little teddy bear sat on my desk all day yesterday and I would look at it and think of him. On my mind all day. I know I will see him again someday, but for now I still miss him. I will just have to squeeze my bear a little tighter for now.
Saturday, January 2, 2016
Here's to a New Year!
2015 was so good to us. I think one of my favorite years. Always filled with stress, but this time it came with more hope, more confidence, and lots of joy. We entered this year and endured it with our heads more above water than we ever have been before. Our family is moving in positive, good directions.
I got the chance to be a stay at home mom, and while I may never feel like I got my fill of it, I am so very blessed to have gotten a taste of it. I have also been blessed with probably the very best full time job I could imagine at this point in my life. Both kids get to spend all day in the same building as me. I even get to teach one of them!!!! If you had asked me a couple months ago, it was the WORST decision ever. We struggled for a bit there and really butted heads. However, things really seem to have settled and I am grateful I get to see him every day, all day, because he is just growing too darn fast! My sweet boy is growing up faster than I care for him to. I also get to keep a close eye on my baby all day as well. There isn't a teacher in school that doesn't know that if someone is going to fall and hit their head, it's going to be her. She is so accident prone and so clumsy!
All in all this year we have solidified more and more as a family, and our two beautiful children have grown and flourished. It hasn't come without grief by any means. We have had allergy tests, ER visits, and a few bouts of sickness that have made our home look like scenes from a horror movie. We reached the end though, happy, mostly healthy, and going strong.My heart is truly full to bursting.
The hardest thing of this year has been living a full year away from all our family and friends that we left behind. We haven't made as many trips back home as we would have liked, and there have been many occasions that we have just wanted to jump in the car and drive home! But then we look at where we are and how far we have come because we followed our dreams. Our family is thriving here and for that we are grateful. It has, however, made everything soooooo much better having my sister and her family here. Two precious babies that we get to watch grow up. Those twins have definitely been a highlight of 2015 as well.
One highlight we were so dearly looking forward to was Christmas at home with ALL of our family there (even though going back and forth from family to family is crazy AND stressful). We were so looking forward to seeing everyone and really catching up for almost a week! Well, life had other things in mind for us this holiday season. As soon as we pulled into our hometown, both kids began showing signs of sickness! Ella quickly turned hers into croup while John kept a nice steady pace at a bad cold. Luckily, Daddy is a super awesome respiratory therapist and we took croup in stride and did what we needed to do. However, fevers worsened, sleepless nights continued, and troubles grew. Christmas morning dawned on a very tired family not at all in the Christmas spirit. We watched and waited while things just didn't improve, so about halfway through the day we headed to the ER and stayed there a good portion of the day. Ella ended up with croup, strep throat, and tonsillitis.....NO FUN!!!! We spent the remainder of the trip trying a enjoy a few moments here and there and attempting to recuperate a tiny bit.
Luckily the remainder of our Christmas break has been fairly quiet with a lot of rest. We rang in the New Year with a small group of people, a LOT of noise, and tons of fun! Happy New Year to everyone who reads this. We love you all.
I got the chance to be a stay at home mom, and while I may never feel like I got my fill of it, I am so very blessed to have gotten a taste of it. I have also been blessed with probably the very best full time job I could imagine at this point in my life. Both kids get to spend all day in the same building as me. I even get to teach one of them!!!! If you had asked me a couple months ago, it was the WORST decision ever. We struggled for a bit there and really butted heads. However, things really seem to have settled and I am grateful I get to see him every day, all day, because he is just growing too darn fast! My sweet boy is growing up faster than I care for him to. I also get to keep a close eye on my baby all day as well. There isn't a teacher in school that doesn't know that if someone is going to fall and hit their head, it's going to be her. She is so accident prone and so clumsy!
All in all this year we have solidified more and more as a family, and our two beautiful children have grown and flourished. It hasn't come without grief by any means. We have had allergy tests, ER visits, and a few bouts of sickness that have made our home look like scenes from a horror movie. We reached the end though, happy, mostly healthy, and going strong.My heart is truly full to bursting.
The hardest thing of this year has been living a full year away from all our family and friends that we left behind. We haven't made as many trips back home as we would have liked, and there have been many occasions that we have just wanted to jump in the car and drive home! But then we look at where we are and how far we have come because we followed our dreams. Our family is thriving here and for that we are grateful. It has, however, made everything soooooo much better having my sister and her family here. Two precious babies that we get to watch grow up. Those twins have definitely been a highlight of 2015 as well.
One highlight we were so dearly looking forward to was Christmas at home with ALL of our family there (even though going back and forth from family to family is crazy AND stressful). We were so looking forward to seeing everyone and really catching up for almost a week! Well, life had other things in mind for us this holiday season. As soon as we pulled into our hometown, both kids began showing signs of sickness! Ella quickly turned hers into croup while John kept a nice steady pace at a bad cold. Luckily, Daddy is a super awesome respiratory therapist and we took croup in stride and did what we needed to do. However, fevers worsened, sleepless nights continued, and troubles grew. Christmas morning dawned on a very tired family not at all in the Christmas spirit. We watched and waited while things just didn't improve, so about halfway through the day we headed to the ER and stayed there a good portion of the day. Ella ended up with croup, strep throat, and tonsillitis.....NO FUN!!!! We spent the remainder of the trip trying a enjoy a few moments here and there and attempting to recuperate a tiny bit.
Luckily the remainder of our Christmas break has been fairly quiet with a lot of rest. We rang in the New Year with a small group of people, a LOT of noise, and tons of fun! Happy New Year to everyone who reads this. We love you all.
Monday, July 27, 2015
Bumps, Bruises, Heads, and Baby Gates
Last Week. The week from hell. I will always remember it. I will always hate it.
I have been a mom of a boy for almost 5 years now. I fully anticipated bumps, bruises, and the occasional broken bone. However, he has made it through these past 5 years remarkably well. There of course were a few bumps and scrapes, but nothing serious. No hospital trips, no stitches; nothing a few snuggles and a band-aid couldn't cure.
Along comes my second child, a girl. Well-mannered, tame, likes to sit still little girl. HA! While she is slightly tamer than my son, she loves to simply sit and play, and she is capable of some pretty darn good manners, she has been my trouble child from the start. I have worried about her from the moment she was conceived, and she has never failed to disappoint, filling our lives with drama.
My sweet girl, a problem from the start, has a stubborn core inside her little body that I swear doubles her mom and dad's own stubbornness. I have rarely met someone more stubborn than I am, and my little girl put my own level of stubbornness to shame. She walked on her own terms, doesn't like to do things that she alone did not think up. Through sickness, stubbornness, late development, and many other things, I never cease to worry about her.
This past week she did not disappoint. First she hit her head while on a family outing. She was playing around, not sitting nicely, and took a header off a picnic bench onto concrete. She survived and we carried on with our outing. The next day though, she just wasn't herself. I watched her carefully, and eventually decided to take her in. They said she had a concussion but since it had been so long, sent her home with a list of things to watch for. I continued to watch, and the day just got worse. By evening, I was pretty worried. I knew something was wrong, so back in we went.They did a full work up, and showed nothing concerning on paper, but they knew something was wrong. Turns out, a concussion and the Hand Foot and Mouth virus don't get along very well. She was one sick little girl. Tired but assured of what was going on, we took her home and watched her carefully over the next few days. She began to bounce back and we saw our sassy girl return to us.
Just a couple days later, as we were getting out of bed to begin our day, disaster struck yet again.
We have never had stairs in our home. We have never had baby gates or any reason to worry. Until this house. This house has two very steep staircases. One goes down to the basement, but there is a door at the top that I can close and control the use of them in that way. Our other staircase is up where our bedrooms are. We use it every day, there is no way to avoid it. Mostly, the kids do really well on the stairs, but still I worry. It causes me great stress to think of anything that could happen on those stairs. I stay awake at night agonizing over what would happen if they fell?
We got a gate. It was just a cheap little thing, but it covered the top of the stairs. From recent events though, I know that little gate won't do a whole lot in the way of protection.
We were out of bed, starting our day. Gate was up, everyone was upstairs. Ella got the look in her eyes (my sister calls it her Mule look). She was going to do something, and she was going to do it herself..... "I open the gate Mommy!"
"No Ella! No! We don't touch that!.....No Ella! We don't touch!.....ELLA!!!!!!......."
Well apparently no wasn't going to work, approaching her wasn't going to work. I just wasn't close enough.
Ella reached over the gate, leaning on it as she reached. The gate just wasn't strong enough. As she leaned, the gate gave out. Ella and the gate went on the ride of their lives.To the gate's credit, it saved her life. I fully believe that. Since the gate was there, rather than tumbling, she slid. She rode that gate, head first of course, all the way down the stairs.
Scariest moment of my life, without a doubt.
Ella reached the bottom, clunked her head (of course) and immediately began crying. I believe I cried for a while too. She earned another knot on her head, and many many more restrictions.
No trip to the ER was made this time (luckily!) but I never relaxed that whole day. I watched her like a hawk for ANYTHING out of the ordinary that might mean further head trauma.
At this point, if I could put her in a bubble, wrap that bubble in bubble wrap, and attach her to me, I would.
Needless to say, we are the proud new owners of a very sturdy baby gate that is screwed in to the walls at the top of the stairs. There is also a temporary gate at the bottom of the stairs that will remain there until I loosen my restrictions on my girl....Don't hold your breath.
So here's to a new week. A week of no injuries. A week of quiet healing.....
...Wish me luck.....
I have been a mom of a boy for almost 5 years now. I fully anticipated bumps, bruises, and the occasional broken bone. However, he has made it through these past 5 years remarkably well. There of course were a few bumps and scrapes, but nothing serious. No hospital trips, no stitches; nothing a few snuggles and a band-aid couldn't cure.
Along comes my second child, a girl. Well-mannered, tame, likes to sit still little girl. HA! While she is slightly tamer than my son, she loves to simply sit and play, and she is capable of some pretty darn good manners, she has been my trouble child from the start. I have worried about her from the moment she was conceived, and she has never failed to disappoint, filling our lives with drama.
My sweet girl, a problem from the start, has a stubborn core inside her little body that I swear doubles her mom and dad's own stubbornness. I have rarely met someone more stubborn than I am, and my little girl put my own level of stubbornness to shame. She walked on her own terms, doesn't like to do things that she alone did not think up. Through sickness, stubbornness, late development, and many other things, I never cease to worry about her.
This past week she did not disappoint. First she hit her head while on a family outing. She was playing around, not sitting nicely, and took a header off a picnic bench onto concrete. She survived and we carried on with our outing. The next day though, she just wasn't herself. I watched her carefully, and eventually decided to take her in. They said she had a concussion but since it had been so long, sent her home with a list of things to watch for. I continued to watch, and the day just got worse. By evening, I was pretty worried. I knew something was wrong, so back in we went.They did a full work up, and showed nothing concerning on paper, but they knew something was wrong. Turns out, a concussion and the Hand Foot and Mouth virus don't get along very well. She was one sick little girl. Tired but assured of what was going on, we took her home and watched her carefully over the next few days. She began to bounce back and we saw our sassy girl return to us.
Just a couple days later, as we were getting out of bed to begin our day, disaster struck yet again.
We have never had stairs in our home. We have never had baby gates or any reason to worry. Until this house. This house has two very steep staircases. One goes down to the basement, but there is a door at the top that I can close and control the use of them in that way. Our other staircase is up where our bedrooms are. We use it every day, there is no way to avoid it. Mostly, the kids do really well on the stairs, but still I worry. It causes me great stress to think of anything that could happen on those stairs. I stay awake at night agonizing over what would happen if they fell?
We got a gate. It was just a cheap little thing, but it covered the top of the stairs. From recent events though, I know that little gate won't do a whole lot in the way of protection.
We were out of bed, starting our day. Gate was up, everyone was upstairs. Ella got the look in her eyes (my sister calls it her Mule look). She was going to do something, and she was going to do it herself..... "I open the gate Mommy!"
"No Ella! No! We don't touch that!.....No Ella! We don't touch!.....ELLA!!!!!!......."
Well apparently no wasn't going to work, approaching her wasn't going to work. I just wasn't close enough.
Ella reached over the gate, leaning on it as she reached. The gate just wasn't strong enough. As she leaned, the gate gave out. Ella and the gate went on the ride of their lives.To the gate's credit, it saved her life. I fully believe that. Since the gate was there, rather than tumbling, she slid. She rode that gate, head first of course, all the way down the stairs.
Scariest moment of my life, without a doubt.
Ella reached the bottom, clunked her head (of course) and immediately began crying. I believe I cried for a while too. She earned another knot on her head, and many many more restrictions.
No trip to the ER was made this time (luckily!) but I never relaxed that whole day. I watched her like a hawk for ANYTHING out of the ordinary that might mean further head trauma.
At this point, if I could put her in a bubble, wrap that bubble in bubble wrap, and attach her to me, I would.
Needless to say, we are the proud new owners of a very sturdy baby gate that is screwed in to the walls at the top of the stairs. There is also a temporary gate at the bottom of the stairs that will remain there until I loosen my restrictions on my girl....Don't hold your breath.
So here's to a new week. A week of no injuries. A week of quiet healing.....
...Wish me luck.....
One Year Later
It's been one year since our little family made big changes and big moves. We have settled down into this new life of ours and I think we have adjusted....mostly.
I have rejoined the workforce, and the kids have adjusted to school....again, mostly.
When I set out to start this little blog, I had the intentions of being intentional in my life. I only get to do this thing once. There are no re-do's in life. I want to make the most of what I have been given. I like to think that for the most part, I have succeeded in that....mostly.
I know there have been bad days, boring days, and days I would rather forget. However, mixed into all those days are treasured memories and lessons I have learned. Life is short. Life is hard. Life is also so, so good. Life is worth it. Even if it is a day of sitting around building legos and watching movies and dressing baby dolls, I want to treasure it. (Legos and baby dolls are what it is all about recently anyways, so if you aren't building legos or dressing up baby dolls, well then, maybe you aren't doing it right!! lol)
I hope I continue learning these lessons plus more in the next year of this little journey. I know I am an unfinished product, I have a lot of work to be done for sure. I also know that God accepts me for who I am, faults and all. He can still use me, my family still needs me. My children love me even when I am not patient enough. My husband loves and accepts me for the work in progress that I am.
I hope to continue to record all these precious memories as time goes on. One day, many years down the road I can return to this sit and sit back and smile as I go through all our memories we have made. I will probably cry too, because well, that's me. If I have learned anything else this year, it has been my passion for my life. My children and my family are everything to me and I FEEL so fiercely about them. It's a feeling/emotion that is hard to describe, but once you have felt it, you never forget it.
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
When You Shouldn't Sugarcoat Things
I had the fortunate/unfortunate (I can't yet decide) opportunity today to witness an event when I was picking John up from Summer Camp. The timing of all of the still kind of boggles my mind...
As Ella and I were getting out of the car and pulling some totes of books out of the trunk (I am slowly moving stuff into my future classroom as it is not in use this summer) I noticed the Summer Camp group walking back from the park across the street. As they began to cross the street, a rather unsavory character happened to cross paths between the school and the group. To say he was not in control of his emotions would be an understatement. Clearly upset he was screaming at someone many profanities over and over again very loudly. He was so out of control he even punched the street sign and threw the bag he was carrying.
Now, obviously, this is not the very worst thing to come across. I don't think anyone really was in any danger except the character who could have seriously hurt his hand. We live in a big city now and coming across different walks of life is pretty normal. But we are from a very sheltered background. My kids have purposefully never been exposed to situations like this. I carefully monitor what they watch and who we spend time with (we have been blessed with so many wonderful people in our lives that this really has never been much of a concern).
As I sat and watched this (with Ella pretty unconscious of what was going on) next to the safety of my car, I watched the group of Summer Camp kids and the leaders/teachers who were with the kids. As the kids were beginning to cross the street, the teachers turned them back around and led the group back into the park area. The leaders were aware of the situation and handled it wonderfully. They couldn't stop what was happening or stop the kids from seeing what was happening, but I could tell their attention was on the kids and their safety 100%. They kept their focus on the children and I am sure did their best to distract them from the scene the character was making. At that moment I was proud of the fact that I will soon be joining the staff their. I could not have handled the situation any better.
I made my way inside after the "situation" left the area and went about my business. It was very apparent that the scene was heard from inside as well. It was that loud. As I made my way back outside to get more totes of books, the Summer Camp group was walking up to the school. I watched them pass by but my son caught my attention immediately. He was walking with the staff members in back, crying. He was clearly upset and they let me know as soon as I saw them of the situation I had just witnessed and that he had been pretty upset by it. I appreciated that they let me know right away what had happened.
This whole thing, plus the fact that John will be spending the summer with people other than me, plus stuff going around social media recently have made me wonder and question if I have properly prepared my children for the world we live in. Do they know not to wander off? Do they have a healthy enough sense of stranger danger to be aware yet not paranoid of everyone around them? Do they know not to go off with strangers even when they entice them with things? I know as parents it is our job to prepare our children for the world. Not everything and everyone is nice. Not every situation is pretty.
I have been debating on when to have that certain talk and that time came up today. The incident stuck with John and he was clearly bothered by it. I knew I needed to say something to him, and we had a talk in the car on the way home. I know I need to talk to him further about this. He is getting older and more aware of his surroundings. This is not the easy part of parenting. If I could stick my kids in a bubble and attach them to me so they would always be safe and close I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can't. I can't always keep them safe. But I can do my best to prepare them for what they will be guaranteed to face as they grow up.
You can't sugarcoat safety or common sense. I know I can still pick and choose what I tell them and what they know, but I also believe in honesty. They need to know that not everyone out there is good or can be trusted. I need them to know who to trust and who not to trust. I need them to know who they can go to when they need to be safe.I hope and pray that I do my job well and that my kids grow up safely but aware.
As Ella and I were getting out of the car and pulling some totes of books out of the trunk (I am slowly moving stuff into my future classroom as it is not in use this summer) I noticed the Summer Camp group walking back from the park across the street. As they began to cross the street, a rather unsavory character happened to cross paths between the school and the group. To say he was not in control of his emotions would be an understatement. Clearly upset he was screaming at someone many profanities over and over again very loudly. He was so out of control he even punched the street sign and threw the bag he was carrying.
Now, obviously, this is not the very worst thing to come across. I don't think anyone really was in any danger except the character who could have seriously hurt his hand. We live in a big city now and coming across different walks of life is pretty normal. But we are from a very sheltered background. My kids have purposefully never been exposed to situations like this. I carefully monitor what they watch and who we spend time with (we have been blessed with so many wonderful people in our lives that this really has never been much of a concern).
As I sat and watched this (with Ella pretty unconscious of what was going on) next to the safety of my car, I watched the group of Summer Camp kids and the leaders/teachers who were with the kids. As the kids were beginning to cross the street, the teachers turned them back around and led the group back into the park area. The leaders were aware of the situation and handled it wonderfully. They couldn't stop what was happening or stop the kids from seeing what was happening, but I could tell their attention was on the kids and their safety 100%. They kept their focus on the children and I am sure did their best to distract them from the scene the character was making. At that moment I was proud of the fact that I will soon be joining the staff their. I could not have handled the situation any better.
I made my way inside after the "situation" left the area and went about my business. It was very apparent that the scene was heard from inside as well. It was that loud. As I made my way back outside to get more totes of books, the Summer Camp group was walking up to the school. I watched them pass by but my son caught my attention immediately. He was walking with the staff members in back, crying. He was clearly upset and they let me know as soon as I saw them of the situation I had just witnessed and that he had been pretty upset by it. I appreciated that they let me know right away what had happened.
This whole thing, plus the fact that John will be spending the summer with people other than me, plus stuff going around social media recently have made me wonder and question if I have properly prepared my children for the world we live in. Do they know not to wander off? Do they have a healthy enough sense of stranger danger to be aware yet not paranoid of everyone around them? Do they know not to go off with strangers even when they entice them with things? I know as parents it is our job to prepare our children for the world. Not everything and everyone is nice. Not every situation is pretty.
I have been debating on when to have that certain talk and that time came up today. The incident stuck with John and he was clearly bothered by it. I knew I needed to say something to him, and we had a talk in the car on the way home. I know I need to talk to him further about this. He is getting older and more aware of his surroundings. This is not the easy part of parenting. If I could stick my kids in a bubble and attach them to me so they would always be safe and close I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can't. I can't always keep them safe. But I can do my best to prepare them for what they will be guaranteed to face as they grow up.
You can't sugarcoat safety or common sense. I know I can still pick and choose what I tell them and what they know, but I also believe in honesty. They need to know that not everyone out there is good or can be trusted. I need them to know who to trust and who not to trust. I need them to know who they can go to when they need to be safe.I hope and pray that I do my job well and that my kids grow up safely but aware.
Thursday, June 4, 2015
Lately
My heart is full, my life is full. This past year our little family has made huge strides in better directions. Were all of the steps we made positive? No, of course not, we are human after all. We mess up, we do stupid things. But all in all, our family is in a better place than we were a year ago. My husband and I just celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. 6 years? Really? Some days it seems like it cannot be possible that we have already been married for 6 years, and some days I think, "That's it? It's only been 6 years? Are you sure it hasn't been more like 26?" :)
I am so grateful. I am grateful for amazing family and friends that surround us. I am grateful for the wonderful husband God placed in my life...directly in my path...basically hit me over the head with him, saying "Here you go, this one." I am so grateful for the wonderful children we have been blessed with. I could not ask for more.
Some days, my husband drives me crazy. Stupid socks in the middle of the floor. Stupid cupboard doors left open. Stupid shirts that I so painstakingly folded and put away no longer folded because he changed his mind and just shoved it back into the drawer.But I love him. He knows me better than anyone else and still loves me and accepts me for who I am.
Most days, my kids drive me batty. Chasing 4 little ones around in circles all day can do that to a person. (My 2 children and my niece and nephew of course) "Please don't pick up the baby." "No you cannot keep slamming yourself into the couch." "Why are you all wet?" "I cannot hear myself think because you two are screaming at each other so loudly!" "No the baby cannot play with your legos." On and on it goes. Every day I drive myself crazy saying things that don't make sense and doing things no normal, sane person would ever do (carrying my half-naked child across a parking lot while she holds her own naked crazy-haired barbie because I had no more spare clothes with me). But I love them. With all of my being I love them. They are part of me; they came from me. I have had the "opportunity" on two separate occasions to hand my children off to Doctors and watch them walk through the doors away from me. Completely in their hands. I have never felt more powerless. The most recent occasion being Ella's eye surgery. It was a normal, routine surgery but that didn't matter. My child was in someone else's hands. Not mine. At the moment, I couldn't keep her safe. I couldn't even be with her to hold her. As a mom, there is just that horrible feeling of helplessness. This occasion was trivial, because luckily my children are healthy, but it was still a moment where I was reminded of how blessed I am and how much I love my children.
As Summer unfolds, we continue to look at new opportunities. A new house. A new job. Summer Camp. Field trips. MORE TIME. I LOVE having this time with my kids. I will always remember this past year. It has been treasured. I am also looking forward to the days to come. They will become busier, yes, but I am so excited for them. I love this life.
I am so grateful. I am grateful for amazing family and friends that surround us. I am grateful for the wonderful husband God placed in my life...directly in my path...basically hit me over the head with him, saying "Here you go, this one." I am so grateful for the wonderful children we have been blessed with. I could not ask for more.
Some days, my husband drives me crazy. Stupid socks in the middle of the floor. Stupid cupboard doors left open. Stupid shirts that I so painstakingly folded and put away no longer folded because he changed his mind and just shoved it back into the drawer.But I love him. He knows me better than anyone else and still loves me and accepts me for who I am.
Most days, my kids drive me batty. Chasing 4 little ones around in circles all day can do that to a person. (My 2 children and my niece and nephew of course) "Please don't pick up the baby." "No you cannot keep slamming yourself into the couch." "Why are you all wet?" "I cannot hear myself think because you two are screaming at each other so loudly!" "No the baby cannot play with your legos." On and on it goes. Every day I drive myself crazy saying things that don't make sense and doing things no normal, sane person would ever do (carrying my half-naked child across a parking lot while she holds her own naked crazy-haired barbie because I had no more spare clothes with me). But I love them. With all of my being I love them. They are part of me; they came from me. I have had the "opportunity" on two separate occasions to hand my children off to Doctors and watch them walk through the doors away from me. Completely in their hands. I have never felt more powerless. The most recent occasion being Ella's eye surgery. It was a normal, routine surgery but that didn't matter. My child was in someone else's hands. Not mine. At the moment, I couldn't keep her safe. I couldn't even be with her to hold her. As a mom, there is just that horrible feeling of helplessness. This occasion was trivial, because luckily my children are healthy, but it was still a moment where I was reminded of how blessed I am and how much I love my children.
As Summer unfolds, we continue to look at new opportunities. A new house. A new job. Summer Camp. Field trips. MORE TIME. I LOVE having this time with my kids. I will always remember this past year. It has been treasured. I am also looking forward to the days to come. They will become busier, yes, but I am so excited for them. I love this life.
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